You will not be everyone’s cup of tea.

You may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but you certainly are a lot of peoples double espresso! The world is filled with people who, no matter what you do, no matter what you try, will simply not like you. But the world is also filled with those who will love you fiercely. The ones who love you: they are your people. Just because not everyone will like you, doesn’t mean no one will like you! Search for those genuine friendships!

 

Don’t waste your finite time and heart trying to convince people who aren’t your people that you have value. They will miss it completely. They won’t buy what you are selling. Don’t try to convince them to walk your path with you because you will only waste your time and your emotional good health. You are not for them and they are not for you. You are not their cup of tea and they are not yours.

 

Politely wave them along and you move away as well. Seek to share your path with those who recognize and appreciate your gifts, who you are. Be who you are. You are not everyone’s cup of tea and that is OK.”

 

And while you may not be everyone’s cup of tea, you don’t have to be. Tea has never apologized for not being coffee, it simply gravitate towards those who chose it.

 

Explanation

Learning to let go of the need to impress others who don’t like you is one of the most freeing things you can do for self-growth and self-improvement. 

 

Some people will never care as deeply as you do, some people will never like you no matter how hard you try, but someone else’s dislike or misunderstanding of who you are isn’t something you have to explain or justify or defend. You are who you are, and it is already enough.

 

The right relationships in your life will be the ones that feel effortless. It will be that which is reciprocated. Everything you invest in the right people will never make you feel empty or depleted because they are giving it right back to you.

 

There are people in this world who will never hear you, no matter how loud you are, and it has nothing to you with how you’re able to articulate a message, but rather are they at a place mentally and emotionally to understand. You can’t make someone understand or listen or change, you can only control who you are and how you carry yourself, and that’s enough.

 

Some people will never care about the things that move you or feel things as deeply as you do. But it isn’t your job to convince them to care; you just have to meet them where they are at with empathy and understanding even if they choose not to understand you. Those things you care about deeply are what make you, you. What needs to change isn’t that driving force of who you are but rather the kinds of people you choose. Choose people who understand your soul and make you feel loved and valued and appreciated. Choose people who make you feel good about the things your heart beats for.

 

Stop trying to be liked by everybody you don’t even like everybody

 

This is one piece of advice that I will probably have to hammer into my brain until the end of time. The more that you live your life for the approval of others, the less of yourself you become. There is no way to guarantee making a good impression. You have to let go of that worry and just let people take you or leave you. Their judgement of you says more about them than it does about you anyway.I think we all have a tendency to want to be liked, some more than others. And it feels terrible when things go the other way. But I would like to remind you that:

 

• How you are perceived will differ from individual to individual. The characteristics that make some like you, may also make you unlikeable to others.
• More often than not, others’ perceptions of you are a reflection of their inner selves; perhaps something about you triggered something they wish they could change about themselves.
• The reverse holds true too, when you find yourself getting annoyed about something someone did — look inside, and you are likely to find the reason.
• There is more to what someone is going through than what is visible on the surface; personal circumstances differ. Maybe the other person is drawing on past experiences in their valuation of you as a person, perhaps they’ve had a bad day or are under immense stress. Once you see through the fact that it’s not all about you, you start to take things a lot more lightly.

 

Reasons Why Not Everyone Is Going to Like You and That’s OK

In our society of attention-seekers, it can be hard to accept the plain simple truth: not everyone is going to like you and it’s not the end of the world if they don’t. Today, we constantly live in the illusion that we should strive to be popular, trendy, and nice to everybody. But is being everyone’s friend the key to happiness? Moreover, is it possible to get all the people you know to like you?

 

Everyone is different Certain people don’t resonate, some personalities clash, and that’s okay. Everyone is different, after all. Even if you are the most perfect man or woman in the world, there will always be someone who doesn’t like the type of person you are. Not because you are flawed or not likable but because they just don’t find your type of personality appealing. Just as everyone is different so is their preference for the people they want to surround themselves with.

 

It’s impossible to like everyone I bet you too have a list of behaviors and personality traits that you can’t stand in others. So, when you meet a person like this, you don’t seek to get to know them better. You are simply uninterested. 

 

People are judgmental, and that’s okay Humans are wired to judge others, and it often makes them jump to conclusions and dislike someone for no reason. This habit has evolutionary roots – it helps us quickly differentiate between friends and foes, which is crucial for our survival. So, accept the fact that everyone judges one another and that’s okay if someone doesn’t like you. It’s a part of human nature.

 

Being liked by everyone is an illusory goal: Most people crave social acceptance to some extent – it’s an intrinsic need we all have. But the problem is that this natural psychological need has turned into toxic addiction in today’s society. But it’s just an illusion. If you devote your life to seeking everyone’s validation, you condemn yourself to unhappiness and disappointment.

 

The harder you try, the less they like you Being a people pleaser is a one-way road to disappointment. It can sometimes lead you to be used and mistreated by others. And it certainly is not going to get you the friends you want. 

 

Sometimes not being liked by others means you are doing something right: if people don’t like you just because you are genuine and don’t shy away from the truth, then you are doing the right thing.

 

The right ones will like you anyway: If you are true to yourself and not trying to hide your personality from others, not everyone is going to like you. But the right ones will

 

Remember that YOU don’t like everyone 

We don’t like every person we meet. So it makes sense that not everyone we meet is going to like us.

 

Someone not liking you does not mean you are a bad or unworthy person

This is an important thing to remember. You can be a good person and still have people who don’t like you.

 

Understand someone not liking you may have anything to do with you

Often it’s about the other person’s history, values, beliefs, and baggage and has nothing to do with you. You might remind them of an ex, have a character trait that reminds them of a controlling parent, or about a million other possibilities. Whether we like it or not, people will judge you on previous experiences, so don’t take it personally.

 

People might like you then the situation changes

Unfortunately, sometimes people stop liking you and there’s not much you can do about it, other than be polite (because that is the kind of person you are) and get on with things.

 

People might be envious or jealous

Some people resent other people’s success or happiness. If you have something they want, that might be enough for them to dislike you.

 

News flash: some people like you, and some don’t.

Consider this theory: 25% of people will like you, no matter what, 25% of people will like you, but may be persuaded not to, 25% of people will not like you, but may be persuaded to, 25% of people will not like you, no matter what you do. Whew – takes the edge off having to get everyone on your side, doesn’t it? For some of you, it’s very important to be liked, while it doesn’t matter as much to others. Of course, we’re social beings. And most of us want others to like us. It’s just when this compulsion catapults into the realm of obsessiveness that it becomes unhealthy.

 

Giving Up Yourself: When you have to give up being YOU in order to morph into who someone else wants you to be is when you cross into unhealthy territory. What a vicious cycle! And a path that’s taken by many – at least at times. We can’t control others, anyway, hard as we may try.

 

Putting Others Down: should never be done or accepted, ever.

 

Trauma and Drama: It’s a shame a lot of time and energy is wasted trying so hard to win over those “25 Percenters,” rather than focusing on those who support you all the time. In fact, you may even take those folks for granted.

 

Two Simple Touchstones: In his book, The Four Agreements, author Don Miguel Ruiz goes as far as to say, “Nothing anyone else does is because of you. They’re living their own drama.” Two of the four agreements in the book serve as ongoing touchstones for me:

Don’t make assumptions & Don’t take things personally. Just including these two principles in your day-to-day life could save you a lot of trauma – and drama!

 

Approval Addiction: We actually have a psychological condition today called Approval Addiction. If you’ve ever found yourself sacrificing your own principles to please someone else, you may want to drill down a bit. The Signs: When you have a decision to make, You go through various scenarios, imagining how any action you take will be perceived,

 

Self Worth: When we base our self worth on how people treat us, or on what we believe they think about us, it causes us to become addicted to their approval. We don’t have to be approved of by other people in order to feel good about ourselves. We may spend a lot of time trying to please people and gain their approval. But then, if it only takes one glance of disapproval or one unappreciative word to ruin our sense of self worth, we’re in shits creek.

 

The 25 Percenters: No matter how hard you may work to gain acceptance from others, there will always be someone who disapproves of you. Think back to that 25 percent theory. It’s actually freeing to frame things in this way.

 

Starving the Addiction: Approval addicts tend to avoid or remove the pain of disapproval by doing whatever people want them to do.

 

An Inside Job: It takes lots of repetition to form a new habit. It’s definitely an “inside job,” and you can start to take the first step next time you’re confronted with some of that autopilot behavior. You really do teach other people how to treat you. And you also teach yourself!

 

Conclusion

To sum up, the sooner you make peace with the fact that everyone is not going to like you, the happier you will be. After all, living for others’ acceptance is an illusory goal. It’s much better to live a life of purpose, do what makes you happy, and finally stop worrying about other people and their opinions about you.  spend your time and energy with those who respect and appreciate you, and don’t waste your time repeatedly trying to win over those who don’t.