What is self love?

“Take care of your body, it’s the only place you have to life” – Jim Rohn

 

What is self love?

Self-love, which is also often referred to as self-compassion, involves taking care of your own needs, accepting your weaknesses and failures as well as your strengths, and staying in touch with your emotions

 

Most of us know what self-love is but do not understand it. It is sad that most of us are trying to conquer external battles like finding love, finding success, or finding happiness, but we do not understand that self-love is the root from which everything grows.

 

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love means having a high regard for your own well-being and happiness. Self-love means taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others. Self-love means not settling for less than you deserve

 

Self-love comprises four aspects: self-awareness, self-worth, self-esteem and self-care.

 

If one is missing, then you do not entirely have self-love. To have it, we should be aligned with these four aspects. The journey of achieving self-love does not differ from confronting your demons. It is the reason most of us lack it, because no one wants to sit down and have a conversation with themselves. Self-Love is hard to achieve because it means having to do away with certain things and people we are addicted to. Our addiction to people and habits that go against the premise of self-love means that we compromise and hence love ourselves conditionally, in exchange for the momentary rush we get from these distracting things.

Self-awareness is being aware of your thought processes: your thoughts, how they affect your emotions, and how emotions cause you to act. Are you aware of the thoughts that make you feel angry and make you act impulsively? Where are they coming from, and why are they there? Why do they cause you to act the way that you do? The same applies to what makes you happy. Why does it make you happy? It is stepping out of yourself to examine yourself. Self-awareness is the key to emotional intelligence. What makes you mad might not stop making you mad, but you will know how to respond effectively or how to not respond at all. People with high emotional intelligence have emotions just like we do. But they step out of their emotions to process them effectively. This also includes moving away or avoiding situations that you know will trigger certain undesirable feelings and reactions within you. If you cannot move away or avoid the situation, self-awareness enables you to redirect the energy you are putting in those emotions. One way to improve your self-awareness is to keep a journal of your thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Because of the continuous negative programing that we face in society, we focus on the bad and unpleasant things and project this negativity onto ourselves so often without even realizing it. You are born with an endless sea of potential; You have it now and you will have it till the day you die. Just like we cannot create or destroy energy, we can only explore or hide potential. Self-worth is the beliefs we have about ourselves, and often we struggle to believe in ourselves. This is because of past unfortunate circumstances we have been through that we have not fully shaken off. Self-worth lies in all the good things about you. Everyone has something good about them. If you struggle to find your self-worth, find a day that you can spend picking out the things you have done right or the things that other people have appreciated about you. You may be a pushover because you don’t know your worth. There is never a day that you are not worthy. Self-worth is not determined by anything; you don’t have to do anything to be worth it. You just are. Know that and understand that. Your strengths, talents, and kind acts toward other people are just an expression of your self-worth.

Self-esteem results from self-worth. A high sense of self-worth results in high self-esteem. Self-worth is the realization that we are valuable regardless of what we have achieved or the qualities we may have; self-esteem is more tied to our qualities and achievements. The exercise mentioned above appeals more to self-esteem but I used it for self-worth because we work better with things that we can see rather than things we can’t. When you develop a sense of self-worth, self-esteem will come more naturally. Self-esteem deals with three factors—how we were loved as children, the accomplishments of the people in our age group, and how well we have accomplished compared to our childhood caregivers. Self-esteem has everything to do with being content and comfortable with who you are, where you are, and what you have. If you want self-esteem, improve your self-worth. Remind yourself every day that you need not justify your existence. Your need to accomplish certain things is often because of your need to justify your existence.

This aspect that has more to do with the physical but it is not entirely physical. Self-care is all the acts we do to keep ourselves healthy, like taking a bath, eating a balanced diet, staying hydrated, and doing things that we love. Self-care can also take form of watching what you consume, like the music you listen to, the things you watch, and the people you spend time with. Compared to the other aspects of self-love, self-care is easier to do. It is best to start here on your journey toward discovering self-love.

 

Ask yourself this question as often as you can: “What would someone who loves themselves do?” Ask yourself this question whenever you need to make a decision, be it trivial or important. This exercise will come with one tip and one warning.

 

Why is self love important?

 

How do we learn to practice self love?

  1. Cast Out the Idea That You Have to Be Perfect

If you’re wondering how to practice self-love, start by ditching the idea of perfect; perfect in every way—body, life, IQ. The idea of perfection is false, and when you see it on social media, it frequently hides serious mental health problems.

 

  1. Understand That Sometimes Societal Expectations Offer Unrealistic Standards

You are unique on this earth and cannot reasonably be compared to anyone else. You are the only one to whom you should compare yourself.

Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

Even if you meet that unattainable standard, you will always be unsatisfied because you need more since it is in our human nature always to be insatiably curious. Avoid comparing yourself to that unattainable ideal; doing so will make you feel bad about yourself and depressed. Remember, the more we compare, the more we lose ourselves.

 

  1. Live in the Moment, Just for a Moment Every Day

Stop your never-ending search for anything better for a time, and just look within. Recognize your origins and the wonder of the present. Realize how fortunate you are to be a living, breathing, and functioning human being.

According to Psychology Today, mindful people tend to have higher self-esteem, are more empathetic, and are more secure.

 

  1. Daily Gratitude

Daily gratitude is the key to happiness and loving yourself.

Start a gratitude journal, an Instagram channel, a blog, or just take three minutes every day to think about all the things you have to be thankful for, such as your health, your life, your friends, your country, M&Ms, how long that old pan has lasted you, or how the person on the bus let you off first.

When we get comfortable, we get ungrateful. Change that, and show gratitude every day. According to Harvard Health, gratitude can make you feel more positive emotions and research has shown it can improve your overall wellbeing.

 

  1. Embrace the Fact That You Can’t Control Everything

The only things you can control are the ones you can change, including your reactions. Recognize that, like the weather, you do not influence other people, their decisions, or their actions.

Instead of attempting to control everything in life, focus on how you respond to it. Do the best you can and then put your hands up and say, “it is in the hands of the Gods now,” letting everything work itself out rather than attempting to control everyone and everything. Everything finally resolves itself.

 

  1. Self-Care

Society has taught us that taking care of ourselves is selfish, and, God forbid, this is what we fear most. In response, we exert tremendous effort so that everyone knows our goodness.

 

The price of being “good” in the eyes of society is, however, your happiness. Stop attempting to be “good” and start looking after yourself. Self-love or Self-care = Happiness.

 

Start to take up these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit. Self-care is one of the best ways to practice self-love.

 

  1. Check In With Yourself Emotionally

Find a seat, get a cup of coffee, and share your day’s events. What mood are you in? Sense that emotion. The greatest course of action is to learn to feel your sentiments rather than bury them genuinely. It’s essential to stay in touch with your feelings if you want to keep practicing self-love.

 

This includes negative thoughts. Do they exist? Do they prove useful? Are they decent?

 

Before you say something unfavorable, consider whether it will benefit you. Does having this thought in any way improve me? Or is it merely impolite, dismissive, and harsh?

 

Stopping internal agony is one of the most crucial steps to happiness because we frequently abuse our minds. Say supportive and encouraging things. Negative beliefs will always impede self-love.

 

Try these 7 Powerful Ways to Stop Negative Thinking.

 

  1. Tighten Your Circle

Your social circle affects your whole life.

 

Look at the five individuals you spend time with since they make up who you are. Are they favorable? Loving? Supportive? Or are they unfavorable, impolite, and abusive? Do they also value themselves?

 

If someone is bringing you down, such as a negative friend, an insulting partner, or an overpowering, overly opinionated aunt, remember that you owe them nothing. They don’t owe you any of your time. Ditch, avoid, and continue.

 

  1. Eat Healthier

Your mental health is impacted by what you put into your body. If you eat something you think is terrible, you sit and feel ashamed of yourself, not only biologically.

 

Don’t be hard on yourself; life is too short to be miserable because you ate. Remove the eating restrictions, stop dieting, and eat like a normal person. Eat natural foods that you enjoy to practice self-love. Your body will appreciate it.

 

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  1. Get Moving!

Don’t simply join a gym and never visit. Try out a new sport or physical activity, then discover one that you like that makes you laugh and is enjoyable for you. Do that then!

 

Zumba, spin, mermaid swimming, dancer… there are a virtually infinite number of different sports. Try them out and see how happy you become! There are many ways to keep fit, even if you are busy. Here’s a 7-minute workout video that you can squeeze in.

 

  1. Clear Up Your Environment

Get rid of all the haters on social media. All those relatable memes about drunken underachievers. It simply makes sense to fill your head with positive information because you will live a positive life since you become what you think.

 

Try these tips: How to Declutter Your Life and Reduce Stress (The Ultimate Guide)

 

  1. Be Unique

Take pride in your differences and learn to love them if you want to develop self-love. This is what distinguishes you. If you think about how can I love myself better, then try to be unique.

 

  1. Let Go of Toxic Relationships

End all toxic relationships. Seriously. Nobody should be a part of your life if they make you feel anything less than fantastic. It may take some time to figure out which connections in your life are poisonous.

 

It’s critical to consider the connections that make you feel good and recognize those that negatively influence your life. The people that don’t support you should not be in your life.

 

  1. Forgive Yourself

Do you recall the one (or maybe a few) times you did something that left you feeling regrettable, humiliated, or ashamed? Time to let go of that. Although you can’t change the things you’ve done in the past, you can influence what happens in the future.

 

Consider it a teaching moment, and believe in your capacity for change. Give yourself the same grace that you would extend to someone else if they were imperfect.

 

  1. Meditate

Take time out to calm your mind every day. Breathe in and out, purge your ideas from your head, and then simply be. Meditation is a way to be more intentional.

 

Be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and desires. Live a life that accurately reflects this. You can include self-reflection into your routine by engaging in mindfulness practices.

 

  1. Remember Who You Are

You have endured a lot, yet you have overcome it, growing stronger with each experience. Please keep in mind who you are.

 

You should welcome adversity because it will make life more fascinating and help you go where you want. Experiencing feelings like self-doubt is natural, but don’t let it overconsume your thoughts.

 

  1. Give Yourself Permission to Love Your Body

Your body is a gorgeous and fantastic tool for exploration. Your body wasn’t made only to be aesthetically pleasing to the rest of the world. It’s not an elaborate vase. It is a tool that enables you to accomplish all of your life’s goals.

 

Climb, eat, go places, go to work, knit… as if it were your child, take care of your body. With nothing but love and the knowledge that everything is ideal just the way it is. Loving yourself and falling head over heels with your appearance is what self-love is all about!

 

We are instructed that achieving the ideal body will make us happy. You are familiar with that kind; it is an unattainable beauty standard frequently airbrushed over.

 

No matter how much weight you lose, how many goods you purchase, or how much plastic surgery you have. A body cannot contain happiness because there is nowhere for it to reside.

 

Happiness results from accepting oneself. Realize that having a body is what you need to feel secure, successful, and like you can do anything you want.

 

You can do whatever you want regardless of how your body is shaped, so stop spending time attempting to follow a particular diet type and instead get Happiness. It is found within.

 

  1. Try Minimalism

True joy and love can only be found by enjoying your possessions and experiences, not material possessions.

 

You want someone to tell you at your passing how wonderful your life was and how you accomplished everything you set out to do! Not that you were a hoarder or had a large collection of things. Happiness is appreciating what you already have that can result in amazing discoveries like cooking a healthy meal from scratch.

 

Here’s an inspiring read recommended for you: If Money Can’t Buy Happiness, What Can?

 

  1. List Positive Things About Yourself

Make a list of your best traits and accomplishments the next time you feel joyous and in control of the universe. While it might sound a little cheesy, it can be a great reminder when you are having a less-than-stellar day. Although it may be challenging initially, developing this habit can help you learn to accept yourself.

 

  1. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Creative

Use your imagination and whatever other means you choose to express yourself. Whatever catches your attention—painting, writing, sculpting, constructing, music—leave your inner critic at the door. There are no right ways to be creative.

 

Creativity can actually be beneficial to your health, according to Forbes. [3]

 

  1. Learn Continuously

Learn, read, and try new things. Figure out what works for you.

 

Try. Don’t just read this. Think, “well, that’s interesting,” and leave. Choose one of them, then put it into practice. Happiness is a daily discipline, not a switch.

 

  1. Stop Being Too Tough on Yourself

Not everything you think is true. We all have a critic who wants to keep us tiny and secure. The drawback is that it prevents us from living complete lives. One of the biggest things that might prevent someone from loving themselves is being hard on themselves.

 

  1. Manage Stress

Spend 10 minutes working on a favorite stress-management technique. Stress prevention can help with managing health conditions like possible heart disease, obesity, high blood pressure, and depression. [4].

 

Here are seven stress management techniques that you can do to help you get through challenging times and practice self-care.

 

  1. Setting Time-Boundaries

If you think about “how to love yourself,” then it starts by focusing on yourself. Set boundaries on how you’ll spend your time. Steer clear of time-sucking activities that don’t add meaning to your life.

 

Also, don’t feel guilty for saying no. Saying no occasionally does not make you a bad person; rather, it makes you clever.

 

  1. Step Outside of Your Comfort Zone

Taking a risk is one of the best ways to show yourself, love. The joy we experience when we realize we have accomplished something we didn’t know we could do is fantastic.

 

  1. Treat Others With Love and Respect

We feel better about ourselves when we treat people the way we want. Everyone may not always return the favor, but that is their issue, not yours.

 

  1. Celebrate Milestones

No matter how big or small, acknowledge your victories. Be happy with your accomplishments and pat yourself on the back. This is a wonderful method to love and be pleased with oneself. Celebrating achievements in your life might help you stay motivated.

 

Small wins also matter. For more tips on what small goals may look like, read “How to Celebrate Small Wins to Achieve Big Goals.”

 

  1. Follow Your Passion

Are you aware of that thing that both excites and terrifies you? Although you’ve convinced yourself it won’t work, the thing you want to accomplish. Get moving on that!

 

Self-love is a dynamic concept. It can take a lifetime to perfect, but it requires continuous practice. Be nice to yourself and persevere through the challenging moments, especially if you’re on the road to finding your passion.

 

  1. Give up the Need for Approval From Others

“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” — Dita Von Teese.

 

You don’t need to rely on approval from others to love yourself. Giving up your need for approval from others will help you find your happy place and also help you let go of past trauma and wounds. Sometimes our want for approval is attached to events from the past.

 

The reality is that when we let go of the things that have happened to us, it feels almost as though a burden has been lifted. We are no longer required to transport that. We deserve better.

 

  1. Find Your Happy Place

What is the one area where you feel completely at ease, at peace, happy, optimistic, and full of life? When going through a difficult period, visit that location or visualize yourself there. Consider the way something looks, feels, and smells. Make it a habit to regularly envision your happy location.

 

  1. Turn Off and Inwards

Grab a cup of your preferred tea, coffee, wine, or other beverage, and sit by yourself for a while. Just you, no TV or other distractions. Consider the amazing things now taking place in your life, your greatest aspirations, and the best ways to achieve them.

 

  1. Try Journaling

How do you feel your head is spinning so much from having so many thoughts? No matter how bizarre, cruel, depressing, or horrifying they are, list them all on paper.

 

Whatever it takes for you to let it go, do it. Keep it in a notebook. Regular journaling can be a crucial component of your self-love practice and will help you gradually recognize the value.

 

  1. Be Realistic

Nobody on this planet experiences happiness every second of every day. Do you understand the reason? We are all human, after all. We all make errors and have mixed emotions, and that’s okay. Embrace your humanity.

 

You can develop a realistic mentality by practicing it. We are often overly hard on ourselves, so learning to be realistic will aid you in your quest for self love.

 

  1. Laugh

There are many benefits to laughter, and it’s a part of self-care. Learn to do things that make you laugh and spend your day joyously.

 

Final Thoughts

You can improve your relationship by learning to love yourself and practicing self-love. This is essential if you want to develop a strong connection with other people. Although it takes time to develop self-love, you will undoubtedly get better at it.

 

Even if you’re under stress, consider all that you’ve already accomplished. You will be one step closer to being the best version once you discover how to be kind to yourself.

 

A wonderful time! Get out there and pursue the activities that ignite your passion. Enjoy them, enjoy who you are, and take in your amazing life.

 

Exercise

When I do something stupid, I usually tell myself…

 

When I succeed, I usually tell myself…

 

When I’m feeling lazy, my inner voice says…

 

When I think of what I want sexually, my inner voice says…

 

When I get angry with someone, my inner voice says…

 

Does the inner judge strike you as kindly or punitive?

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