My story part 1 – being able to see spirits from a young age.

Hello everyone,

 

 I feel ready now to share my story and support people on their own spiritual path as I feel I have a special gift that not many people have.

 

I always had a curiosity and interest for spirituality from a young age but I found it extremely hard and confusing to learn about. I couldn’t get my head around what everything meant and thought it was only for a certain stereotype of a person and a girl like me could never call themselves spiritual. 

 

I’ll start from the beginning and take you back to where my story starts. My grandad died when i was two years old, so i decided on my own accord i was going to live with my nana and keep her company, and so i did, for 8 years. From 2 years of age to 10 years of age. She raised me throughout that time. We slept together in the same bed, had every meal together, you name it we did it together, we could never be separated, the bestest of friends. 

 

I would always answer my nanas housephone. Back in the day if anyone can remember it, it was the old wired housephone. One time, after coming off a phonecall with someone, i came back into the sitting room. Of course being such a young age, my nana was confused as to who i had just been speaking with on the phone. I said i was on the phone to grandad, who bear in mind had been dead for a number of years.

 

Unfortunately, my nana passed away when i was 10 years of age. I was much too young to understand and process the meaning of it. So it only hit me when I got to an older age. Ill always remember the day she did. She was lying in bed, i was heading off to primary school and i went over to her, kissed her on the cheek, and said ill see you later, as i always did, but for me, that was the last time i saw my nana. I never got to say goodbye to her. She was taken from me later that evening after a tragic circumstance happened in hospital. 

 

I had a huge imagination as a child. This probably stemmed from the fact my sisters were 5 and 7 years older than me, so that when I moved back in with my family after my nana died at 10 years of age, they were too old to play with me, so I spent a lot of time playing on my own. 

 

Ill always remember the start of me seeing spirits. My nana had recently passed away. It was christmas eve and i got up to go to the toilet in the middle of the night. I opened my bedroom door and it was like a huge gust of wind went through me and this massive light blinded me. I was absolutely frightened and ran back to my bed shaking. I didnt know what had happened but from that night, I started to see spirits.

 

This is the part some might find hard to believe as i would absolutely not believe it if someone had said this to me and i never experienced seeing spirits. But from about 10 years old, I started to see spirits. I would see them at nighttime in my room and they would appear the exact same as a real life human. I would be asleep and all of a sudden i would just wake up randomly, open my eyes and there would be a spirit in my room, that would look the exact same as a human being. I would start to have a panic attack as it would look the exact same as a human that i thought a random person was in my room but i would soon realise these were spirits passing by and when i would turn the light on, they would disappear. I have seen all types of spirits – Young, old, man, women, child, ive seen them all but have never recognised any of them. 

 

Few examples include seeing two little boys playing on the floor of my room, a little girl jumping up and down on my bed playing, an old woman entering the door of my room and walking the whole way through, a group of young lads chatting, an old man passing through. The list goes on. I have had to wake my ex boyfriends numerous times telling them there is a spirit in the room and to turn on the light. 

 

My sister cait worked in the local bar for a few years and our bedrooms were next door to eachother. She would come home after a nightshift around 2am, and find my bedroom light on. She would come in to my room and i would be sat up on my bed having a full blown conversation with no one. She was asking me who i was talking to and i would be like oh so and so at the bottom of my bed. I would never remember those kind of events, that was happening me with me not being conscious to it but i would be fully awake and conscious for when i was seeing the spirits which is interesting to see the difference.

 

I would be in class in secondary school and i would see black shadow walking through the room. I would ask the person who was sitting beside me who passed through and they would say maryrose no one walked through the room. I would wake up with a scream some nights. Most mornings i would always wake up feeling exhausted from being woken up or subconsciously being sat up speaking to them without knowing and i think thats when i learned to block it off as i got older, it was just making me continuously tired every morning from the restless nights. There is countless more stories i could tell you about what i have experienced but i would be here for hours.

 

But the great thing is, i have never had a negative experience. Although yes its absolutely terrifying to see them and it scares the beejeesus out of me lol, they have never scared me. I cant communicate with them, its just like they appear to me and then leave. I have never understood why me, why they come to me. But it just went on and on for years. It has slowed down as i have gotten older, i dont know if this is because i have blocked it out a bit maybe as it got too much to live with, leaving me tired from waking up during the nights all the time. But having this gift has certainly led me to having my awakening and this is another story as this is where i really got passionate about learning about spirituality, your higher mind, removing your ego, brining awareness and consciousness into your life etc. i will do another podcast episode on it. 

 

But yeah, I never questioned having this gift as i have come to call it. As i didnt know what it meant and so it was brushed under the carpet. I have always been extremely sensitive to energy. My senses are heightened, I feel, taste, see, hear and smell everything amplified by 100 times more than a normal person. I feel drained if i socialise too much. I have to be super careful the people i spend my energy around. I am a very emotional person, i feel everything very hard but yet i have learned to bottle up all of this emotion recently and deal with it mentally rather than being expressively. My tastes are amplified to the fact that i cant barely drink alcohol anymore. I see everything – i can see a situation happening before it unfolds, i am tuned into what is going on around me, i see something happening in the background while im with a group of people etc. I hear things – i am very connected to my intuition which before, i had a very loud, self criticising, negative ego which i learned to remove, and i will do a podcast episode on that as i am very passionate about teaching people about the ego. I hate the smell of certain spices and alcohol. 

 

I always thought i was different to other people. I hid this side to me until i was 25. I didnt tell a single soul, only my family, best friends and partners would know about this. And i suppose i was always curious to find out more. Why was i able to see spirits, why could i sense how people were feeling, why did i feel everything buy 100 times, why was i the way i was basically. 

 

So that is where i am going to leave this podcast episode as in a separate podcast episode i will speak about part 2 of my story i am going to tell you about my breakdown in Dubai resulting in my spiritual awakening and the process of my spiritual awakening from Dubai to Bali . How i went to rock bottom in every area of my life, how life had broken me down and i decided to change my life. It will be a very raw, vulnerable episode. But im sure alot of you will find it a very interesting listen as its a great story – not for me at the time though lol.

 

Again, in another separate podcast episode will be Part 3 on my journey. This is where the real journey begins: immersing myself in learning about spirituality to learn to become happy again, reconnect to my higher self, reading countless books, hours of podcasts and audible books, researching, studying, literally immersing myself in any way possible to learn about the human mind, soul, our existence, why we are the way we are, how our minds work, our ego, awareness, consciousness, the power of the present moment, our thoughts, emotions, you name it i studied it. 

 

Spirituality is not a religion. It is about stepping back and realising that you are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts and once you can observe your thoughts, you now have awareness. It is about not being snappy in your reactions, but pausing and understanding the other person’s viewpoint. It is about learning to love yourself endlessly, even all of your flaws and weaknesses. It is about learning to live a life that is true to you. To look after your inner child that lives inside of you. To embody the person you wish to be. To be conscious of how you are as a person. Learning that we only ever have the present moment. Getting out of the rut of being stuck in our past or our future. Knowing that you are not your thoughts, this loud noise, this bully in your mind is your ego.

 

I could keep going but this is what spirituality is really about and we have a very confused perception around it. My passion is to help people who are going through an ‘awakening’ as we call it, who want to change their lives, who are stuck in a rut, who have gone through a significant event, who want to learn about themselves, who want to become their happiest self. I want to teach people how they can tap into their intuition, connect with passed away loved ones, learn about their mind etc. There is alot i want to help with but I will simplify everything as this is what I needed years ago and didnt have. I had no one to help me so I was left to battle this road alone and confused. I spent years learning about this and its now time to help everyone else.

 

I am going to leave it at that for this podcast episode as i could keep speaking about this for hours as it is something i am extremely passionate about. But for me, i am trying to bridge the gap between self development, science and spirituality. They are all intertwined and connected. So you will see a blend of all these in my work. 

 

I want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has listened to this podcast episode. It is something i have wanted to do for years and i have felt a massive shift lately so yeah, thank you for supporting me as always and i am so excited to get to work to bring you guys some incredible content on the mind, body, soul and spirit that will help you on your journey. 

 

Catch you in the next episode.

MaryRose