How do you deal with imposter syndrome?
I’m guessing you’ve felt imposter syndrome before too because 70% of people experience these impostor feelings at some point in their lives, according to an article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science.
What is imposter syndrome?
Imposter Syndrome: the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills.
In other words, imposter syndrome is the feeling that you do not deserve your success, that you’re not as smart/skilled as people think you are. You feel like a fraud in danger of being caught at any moment.
There’s no one cause for imposter syndrome, but it’s common in people who are Type A perfectionists with high expectations of themselves and often high anxiety and stress.
The thing about imposter syndrome, and why I hadn’t really recognized it in myself before is this: it’s SNEAKY. It thrives on you not noticing it. Imposter syndrome wants you to believe it’s true; it needs you to in order for it to exist. It’s like the thought is a Gremlin and every time you believe the thought you feed the Gremlin—but start believing in yourself and the Gremlin dies.
Imposter syndrome? It’s a FEAR.
Fear isn’t in and of itself a bad thing. I’ve started to notice it, and embrace it. Fear keeps us alert, making sure we’re continually doing our best to succeed and take care of ourselves. It’s a part of our biology designed to keep us safe from danger.
But it’s an internal emotion, not necessarily an accurate reflection of external reality. The problem is when the fear goes unnoticed and unchecked. The brain can get a little ahead of itself and start finding reasons to feel anxiety about basically anything. And if you already tend to be critical of yourself, those thoughts can morph into the full-blown not-true belief that somehow everything you’ve worked for will be taken away when “they” realize you don’t deserve it.
The first step to conquering imposter syndrome is to become aware of when it rears its ugly head.
This sounds easy, but takes some dedication and practice. Like I mentioned above, imposter syndrome is sneaky. The thoughts sneak in line right in-between other perfectly rational thoughts, so you have to stay present and conscious of your thoughts in order to spot them and kick them out. A mindfulness and meditation practice will be your best weapon.
Once you’ve noticed your imposter syndrome thought, ask yourself these four questions:
Is it true?
Can you absolutely know it’s true?
How do you feel when you believe that thought?
Who would you be without the thought?
This technique is called The Work and was developed by Byron Katie. With this method, you realize that you’re negatively impacting your wellbeing by staying focused on thoughts that aren’t usually based in reality and keep you feeling shitty about yourself.
You don’t need that baggage in your life.
Final step: let those thoughts go.
We’re all on a path of learning self-love. How to be compassionate to ourselves, to celebrate ourselves, to believe we are worthy. Imposter syndrome is a belief that’s holding you back.
I know it’s easier to say to let those thoughts go than to actually do it. Especially if that fear voice is LOUD and insistent that it’s right (“no really, Amy, I’m a total fraud”). But are you really willing to live out the rest of your days in fear?
So let’s humor your imposter syndrome for a moment. Say you really are a total fraud (you probably know, if you’re being honest with yourself, if this is actually true or not)—would having these thoughts help you in any way?
Imagine how you’ll be able to soar when you free yourself from the shackles of self-doubt and fear.
What I’m trying to say is that it’s time to part ways with your imposter syndrome and let yourself shine.
Trust yourself. Trust that you’re doing your best and you deserve success, you deserve abundance, and you deserve to FEEL and accept all of that with confidence.