Changing your narrative
Part 1: CHANGE YOUR WORDS, CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Today I am going to teach you a simple TOOL FOR IMMEDIATELY TRANSFORMING THE QUALITY OF YOUR LIFE.
We have the ability to use words internally to change our lives for the better – words that will ignite change, inspire action and improve our quality of life. Can you change your words, and change your life?
Our words are a vehicle for expressing and sharing our experiences with others, but you may not realize the far-reaching impacts of the words you use on a daily basis. The words you attach to your experience become your experience. Language is one of the keys to shifting your mind, shifting your body and shifting your results. If your internal self-talk is negative, chances are that your external experiences will be negative as well.
There is so much power in changing just one key word in our vocabulary. It can have such an impact on how we feel and how we behave.
By changing your vocabulary that is habit to you – the words you consistently use to describe emotions – you can instantly change how you think, how you feel and how you live. When you change your words, you change your mindset.
How can words inspire change? Make your internal vocabulary more positive, and you’ll soon find out. The positive external experiences you’ll discover will amaze you. This is the power of transformational vocabulary – consciously using your words to improve and change your life.
WHY IS IT DIFFICULT TO CHANGE YOUR WORDS AND CHANGE YOUR MINDSET?
According to Compton’s Encyclopedia, the English language contains some 500,000 words. Yet, the average person’s working vocabulary consists of only 2,000 – 0.5% of the entire language. So how many words make up our habitual vocabulary? For most people, it averages around 200–300 words. Of those 500,000 words, about 3,000 are used to describe emotions – two-thirds of which are used to describe negative emotions.
With all of these readily-available ways to express our feelings and ideas, why are we comfortable with such a limited vocabulary? Our brains are working at high speeds, processing information and working to become more efficient. As a result, we resort to using the same vocabulary over and over again. In the pursuit of efficiency, we often create shortcuts that then shortchange us emotionally.
HOW TO CHANGE YOUR WORDS
The human brain likes to take shortcuts. It conserves energy – and it also keeps us stuck in patterns that don’t always benefit us. The brain also likes certainty, one of our top human needs. Some certainty is beneficial, but too much of it prevents us from growing. To change your words – and change your life – you need to overcome both of these innate human tendencies and shift your way of thinking.
Labels are what you call yourself in your head. They are tags that you attach to yourself to describe the person you think you are.
Are you a successful career woman, a super mom, a loser, an ugly person, a sex bomb, a “fatty”, a good-for-nothing? We put ourselves in boxes trying to define who we are. We do it to others, and we do it to ourselves. Whether positive or negative, what we whisper to ourselves every day has a great influence on our self-concept, and dictates the direction of our thoughts and actions. More so than the labels attached to us by society. We are what we think we are.
What are impacts of negative labelling?
Have you ever taken the time to think about which words you habitually use and how they affect your life and well-being? Negative self-talk and negative emotional labeling stem from your limiting beliefs and affect all of your emotions – which in turn affect your decisions, behaviors and experiences of life.
The words we attach to our experience become our experience. Words have a biochemical effect on the body. The minute you use a word like “devastated,” you’re going to produce a very different biochemical effect than if you say, “I’m a bit disappointed.”
It’s not hard to see the impact of language when we look at how we feel when other people speak to us. For example, if someone said to you, “I think you’re mistaken,” versus, “I think you’re wrong,” versus, “You’re lying,” would you have a different biochemical response to that phrase? The same exact process happens with the words you use to speak to yourself. When you learn to change your words, change your mindset and change your life, it’s because you’re changing these inherent responses.
Is it possible that the words we attach to our experience actually become our experience? Do words have a biochemical effect? Yes! Use a replacement word to break a pattern of anger. So how can words inspire change? It starts with a change inside of you.
Could it really be this easy? Just by changing the words we habitually use to describe our emotions, could we change our feelings and the quality of our lives? This is not to say there won’t be times when you feel angry or enraged, but wouldn’t it be nice to have that be a conscious choice as opposed to a habitual negative reaction? We can be proactive in choosing our emotions – we can make experiences more pleasurable.
If you’re wondering how to change your words and change your life in the easiest way possible, start with one word. Replace one word that will transform the way you experience something “negative.” Shifting your mindset is the key to shaping your decisions, actions and life. This is how you create a choice instead of a habitual reaction.
Transformational vocabulary gives you the power to change your experiences in life by lowering the intensity of negative emotions to the point where they no longer control you. It can also be used to take positive experiences and increase them to even greater heights of pleasure.
How extraordinary will your life be when you consistently lower the intensity of negative emotions and intensify the positive ones? Start small. Note the negative words you use on a consistent basis and ask yourself how you can change them. Can you be “peeved” instead of “devastated?” On the other hand, can you feel “ecstatic” instead of “pleased?” When you change your words, you change your mindset. Start creating beneficial habits today, and you’ll quickly reach a more positive, joyful state.
Part 2: CHANGE YOUR STORY
YOUR THREE STEPS TO A BREAKTHROUGH
Change your thoughts, change your life. How you think and view the world affects the story that will be told about your life. Your story is one of three elements that can lead you to finding a breakthrough – that is, learning how to create lasting change in your life.
Want to learn how to change your life around? Then learn how to change your story.
We can change our lives. We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish
What we tell ourselves is what we believe.
We often limit ourselves by deciding we can’t do something before we even try. These limiting beliefs may lead us to ask ourselves, “Why bother?” or tell ourselves, “This is silly.” When we do this, we are effectively telling ourselves the answer is “no” before we even ask the question. When we do that, we’ve stopped our growth and our path to success.
This negative self-talk is a clear sign that you need to rewrite your story. Our story affects what we do, where we go and how we approach life. A powerful story leads to a life of opportunity – change your story, change your life. The first step in changing your story is to stop telling yourself disempowering ones.
How many times have you said something like this to yourself?
I have to be perfect… I’m too old… I’m just not that kind of person.
These are exactly the type of damaging thoughts that keep us from achieving our goals and, ultimately, our dreams. By addressing the following damaging thoughts head-on and treating ourselves with kindness instead of doubt, you can change your mindset and learn how to change yourself.
CHANGE YOUR STORY, CHANGE YOUR LIFE
The stories we tell ourselves make up our identity and dictate what we believe we can and cannot do. Here are some common stories that you tell yourself that limit your opportunities for growth and indicate it’s time for you to rewrite your story:
“I have to be perfect.”
Perfection is the lowest standard anyone can have – it leaves no room for growth. While completing a task perfectly may feel good for a little while, it’s through our mistakes that we develop our greatest strengths and find life’s impactful lessons. If you have done something perfectly, you haven’t really learned anything – how to do this task better, for example, or what to avoid. By telling yourself you have to be perfect, you’re putting limits around your own capabilities. When you want to learn how to change your life around, you have to give up perfection.
Rather than striving for perfection, strive for a balanced life. Accept that you will make mistakes and when you do, use them as a starting point to realize your next level. Trying to be perfect stems from one’s fear of failure. Instead of being afraid to fail, pursue your passion no matter the outcome.
Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don’t try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of a human.
“My life is harder than anyone else’s.”
Everyone is fighting their own battle. It’s how you choose to handle difficulty that determines how to change your life around.
Identify your problems, but give your power and energy to solutions.
A hard life doesn’t prevent you from success unless you tell yourself it will. There are plenty of examples of those who overcame seemingly overwhelming obstacles to achieve greatness, and just as many examples of those born with all the advantages in the world who failed to have fulfilling lives. When it comes to rewriting your story, you must let go of the past.
“If I ignore it, it will go away.”
If you want to learn how to change yourself, you must see things as they really are. Reality always catches up with us. While we can sometimes pretend they aren’t there, our problems will always be waiting for us when we return. It’s only when we choose to face them head on that they truly go away.
Our goal is not to ignore the problems of life, but to put ourselves in better mental and emotional states to not only come up with solutions but really meet the challenges and take action. Take a good look at yourself and where you are in life and the choices you have made that have brought you to this point. This is not an opportunity to beat yourself up. Rather, it’s a chance to take inventory and understand what you need to change in order to rewrite your story.
“I’m too young, or I’m too old.”
Do you think you’re too old to learn how to change your life around?
Here’s the truth: Your age only limits you if you allow it. Create a vision and never let the environment, other people’s beliefs or the limits of what has been done in the past shape your decisions. Ignore conventional wisdom.
When you look at a possible lifespan of up to 120 years if you live right, trying to rewrite your story at age 60 suddenly seems very plausible. You can do whatever you desire at any age – as long as you believe it to be true and put in the work to make it a reality.
“I’m just not the happy type.”
By telling yourself that you aren’t “the happy type,” you’re making yourself unhappy. Happiness is a choice we make – it is a state we can become through our actions. The path to happiness is more than material items and superficial things. Rather, happiness is an all-encompassing way of being. When you change your thoughts, you learn how to change your life – that is, when you choose to be happy, your negatives shift to positives.
Examine your habits
Instead of focusing on what you want to change, turn your attention to the bad habit or habits that lead to you wanting to learn how to change yourself. Are your sugar cravings at 10 PM what lead to you being overweight? Is your habit of sleeping in and arriving at work late getting in the way of your promotion? Once you’ve identified the negative habits, you can create better ones that will help you rewrite your story, such as utilizing delayed gratification.
Practice every day
Once you know what your new healthy habits are, practice them every single day – no matter what. Have a backup plan in case circumstances get in the way of your new habits and don’t allow yourself to cut corners.
Focus on self-reflection
One of the habits that lead you to wanting to learn how to change your life around was not facing reality. You need to focus on realistic self-reflection throughout your journey and, when needed, ask those you trust for their perspective. Are you improving? If not, what else needs to change?
Surround yourself with good people
When you spend quality time with good people who love you, you develop a natural support system for your new habits and you are able to rewrite your story in a nurturing environment.
Keep taking risks
If you want to learn how to change your life, you cannot stay in your comfort zone. You need to take risks until you get comfortable with those risks – then take more. The more you push yourself, the easier it will become to rewrite your story and transform your life.
As Tony reminds us, “Achieving goals by themselves will never make us happy in the long term; it’s who you become, as you overcome the obstacles necessary to achieve your goals, that can give you the deepest and most long-lasting sense of fulfillment.”
As achievers we all seek greatness, but is there something holding you back from your next level of success and fulfillment? Overcome the story that limits you while creating your own breakthrough at Unleash the Power Within with Tony Robbins.
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