Filling up the time with nothingness in a futile attempt to feel somethingness.
None of this is new or revelatory information. We all know that phones are a problem, our iPhones are ruining our lives.
Then why the hell can’t we leave our phones alone?
You can thank dopamine for your addiction.
When we turn to our phones to pass the time, it’s because we long for a dopamine hit. In case you don’t know, dopamine is a chemical created by your brain. You may have heard that dopamine makes you experience pleasure, but that’s not really the case. Dopamine actually fuels reward-seeking behavior. Dopamine makes you WANT.
Thanks to smart phones, we’ve gotten very used to instant gratification. Our brain LOVES THIS. You have a want, and you get what you want right away.
The problem is, our brain still functions the way it did when we were six and HAD TO HAVE the latest cool toy. It’s never satisfied.
The feeling when you get what you want is so powerful that your brain keeps pumping out dopamine, which drives us to keep seeking that same high. This is why dopamine is a key ingredient in cooking up addiction. It always needs more.
So yes, your phone addiction is REAL.
So much research has been done on our addictions to our phones and the hazards therein, but we don’t exactly change our ways even when we know better. We all know we’re just wasting time, but still we can’t pull ourselves away. Being on our phones quickly becomes a mindless habit.
The problem is that phone addiction is really bad for your health.
“The problematic use of cell phones has been associated with personality variables, such as extraversion, neuroticism, self-esteem, impulsivity, self-identity, and self-image. Similarly, sleep disturbance, anxiety, stress, and, to a lesser extent, depression, which are also associated with Internet abuse, have been associated with problematic phone use. In addition, the present review reveals the coexistence relationship between problematic phone use and substance use such as tobacco and alcohol.”
Now that we’re all agreed that your cell phone is wasting your time and also making you really freaking unhappy, what should you do about it?
In my wellness toolkit course I talk about taking a social media break. Let’s take it a step further and apply the detox to your entire phone. Practice spending an hour here, 30 min there, with your phone fully away from you. (It helps to put it in another room or leave it at home if you’re feeling extra committed!)
In short, you and your phone need to go on a break.
Obviously, limiting the amount of time you spend on your phone takes practice, dedication, and possibly a good friend to hold you accountable.
But I find that as I become more mindful about my little addiction, it’s less satisfying. I will stare at the apps for a second and realize there’s actually nothing that they can provide me in those moments of boredom or emotional instability. It’s getting a lot easier to put the phone right back down again and stay present.
Because that’s really what it’s all about – actually LIVING your life instead of spending it buried inside technology. Yes, I still love to waste the occasional hour scrolling on Instagram but I now do it intentionally.
Yes it can be annoying that you might not now immediately reply to someone when they try to contact you, but the people around you eventually adjust, and you get to stay in charge of how you spend your energy.