How to Create a Daily Meditation Practice.

This entry is part 6 of 10 in the series Self Development Tools

Self Development Tools

“Meditation teaches us to choose our thoughts like we choose our clothes in the morning”

 

Intro

Daily meditation doesn’t so much dissolve problems, it allows the mind to find order and understand itself. Any Fears, resentments, emotions and hopes become easier to name. By becoming more aware, we become less scared of the contents of our mindless resentment. The result of this is more clarity and a sense of calm about our direction, we slowly but surely get to know ourselves. When we know ourselves, we become more resilient to what the world throws at us. We slow down to notice triggers and patterns and people that may affect us. We then can choose a different approach that will serve us.

 

Benefits of how meditation can change your life and here is why

 

What can you expect from consistent meditation?

 

What areas can I work on using meditation?

Some of the main areas you work on during meditation are the subconscious, manifestation, visualisation and the self. Subconscious work is designed to get through to your subconscious mind, to help you find who you truly are. Manifestation and visualisation helps you to feel into existence your deepest desires to create the life you desire. The Self works on removing any blocks or resistance to help you on your self-love and self-belief journey.

 

Why does meditation make you happy?

Science proves that meditation makes you happier. There is a link between present-moment mindfulness and happiness. The happiest people are those who live in the moment. But why? To understand the link between meditation, happiness, and positivity, we need to look at the neuroscience of happiness. 

 

The negativity bias

 This is the human mind’s habit of paying more attention to the negative than the positive. We’re more likely to dwell on negative thoughts than positive thoughts. And so, this causes negativity to grow more than positivity. Not only do painful events create negative thoughts, but we make things words by ruminating on them. 

 

The Second Dart 

There is a parable called the “Second Dart.” In it, Buddha says that life is full of painful moments, which are like the first dart that hits us. But then, through self-inflicted wounds (thoughts), we throw a second dart at ourselves. We double the pain. But we can fix this. We can deliberately remember positive times in our lives. When we do this, those positive events form neural structure. Indeed, this is one of the best things about using meditation for happiness and positivity. It literally changes our brains to be more positive. 

 

Meditation helps us get through unhappy times

One reason meditation makes you happy is that it helps you to notice when you’re experiencing negative emotions in response to events. When this happens, we can deliberately force ourselves to relax. In turn, this activates the parasympathetic nervous system and reduces the effect of the sympathetic nervous system and the “fight or flight” response. We can do this by mindfully breathing through painful events. “My breath is my anchor”. When we go through rough times we can breathe mindfully, and this will make painful events more tolerable.

 

Stops us dwelling 

Another reason meditation makes us happy is that it reduces dwelling. We become aware of times when we are ruminating on this. And when we are aware, we can change. When we notice ourselves dwelling on the negative, we can use a guided meditation for happiness to help us to think positively.  

 

Meditation and the Happy Brain

Another good thing about meditation for happiness and positivity is that it exercises the insula. This is part of the cerebral cortex folded deep within the lateral sulcus. The insula is highly involved with feelings and emotions. Exercises like yoga and meditation make the insula thicker. When we meditate, we develop more neural connections. In turn, this helps us to be more aware and more in control of our feelings.  

 

Meditation and the Happiness Set Point

There’s also a link between meditation and the “Happiness Set Point”. Basically, we have a happiness set point. This “set point” is our general overall level of happiness. It is usually fixed. Indeed, researchers found that even people who win the lottery don’t actually become happier. Why? Because they were born with low happiness set points. But guess what? There’s a direct link between meditation and the happiness set point. Meditating actually raises our happiness set point so we become generally happier.  

 

Reduces amygdala activity

Research shows that meditation reduces amygdala activity. And this reduces anxiety and fear—you know, the opposites of happiness. It also reduces cortisol. Clearly, there are huge benefits of daily meditation for happiness and positivity. And it all starts with focusing on the present moment. Focusing on the present moment is an excellent way to boost health and wellbeing and to create positive emotions.

 

Easy Happiness Meditation exercises

Focus generally on the present moment. To do this, focus on your senses. What can you see, hear, smell, taste and touch? The senses connect us to the present moment. By being mindful of the senses, we start to enjoy life. Focus on one single aspect of the present moment. Choose one thing around you that makes you feel glad. It could be a sound, a smell, a memory. Focus on that one thing absolutely for a few moments. Meditate on it.

Continue being mindful of the moment all day. This will cultivate happiness.

 

How do I meditate?

Meditation is a simple but powerful mental exercise that’s accessible everyone to do. Even better, it’s free and doesn’t require any equipment! It’s also been scientifically proven to have nearly endless positive effects on your mental AND physical wellbeing and health. And no, meditating doesn’t have anything to do with religion, though it is practiced by some, including Buddhism and Hinduism. Anyone can do it, and everyone should. It’s kind of like allowing all the snowflakes to settle in the snow-globe of your mind, allowing you to find stillness and clarity. Meditation does not mean you have to empty your mind. The goal is to become aware of your thoughts.

 

Our minds are like computers. They get programmed (primarily in our adolescence) by the people who raise us and the society/culture we grow up in. But here’s the magical thing: our brains can get reprogrammed, by us, with meditation. Becoming aware of our thoughts eventually leads us to being able to control and choose our thoughts to the ones that serve us best. I always thought that meditation = silencing the mind completely. This is actually a misconception. Meditation is actually this full-circle practice:

That IS meditation. It’s a process, not a destination. You don’t need to silence your mind. You’re training yourself to become AWARE of your thoughts, so you control them—not the other way around. Eventually, you’ll have spaces of time where you find your mind quiets down so much you don’t have any thoughts. And with time, those spaces will last longer and longer. And when you get there, those pockets of time are bliss. But it’s also really okay if you find meditation challenging—most of us are not Zen Buddhist Monks devoted to the practice of meditating for life to achieve enlightenment. We’re real people who live in a crazy amped-up world, so it’s okay if you feel like you have a “monkey mind” that’s constantly ON. Meditating will help you get tame it. Every time you catch yourself thinking about something else when you meditate, that’s a win—because you’re beginning to separate You from your mind. You’re stopping the old negative patterns of thinking so that you can form new ones.

 

Your goal when you meditate is simply to become present.

Our minds are always running a commentary track, or thinking about the past, or imagined futures. But when we make the intention to just be here, now, everything slows down. You want to be aware of your thoughts, examining them as they come up and then choosing not to follow, so that you can stay here in the now. I often use this metaphor when I’m teaching: your mind is the sky, and your thoughts are just clouds floating through. So you can see them, and acknowledge them, but then choose not to engage with those thoughts. Just let them continue to float on by, and stay rooted in your power as the enveloping sky. I highly, highly recommend The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle, a master meditation teacher. It really helps explain in greater depth what it means to be present.

 

Focus on your breath when you meditate.

Breathe in and out of your nose, as deeply as you can. Try to breathe into the lowest part of your ribcage, then back to your spine and out to the right and left sides of your belly, like you’re inflating a balloon inside of you. Slow down your breaths. Notice if it’s hard to breathe deeply (that’s very common, and will improve with practice). Try to relax your tongue and the back of your throat. Soften your forehead and your jaw. Become aware of how you’re holding your body. If there’s anywhere you can relax just by bringing your attention to that area, let the tension go. Your breath is your best tool to get into a deeper meditative state, so it’s key. Meditation switches on your body’s parasympathetic nervous system, which helps bring you back to a calm state of healing and restoration. It’s the opposite of the flight-or-fight stress response that many of us live in. The more you breathe deeply, the more you activate your vagus nerve, which helps turn on that relaxed state. You can also try tuning in to everything happening around you using your senses. Notice the floor underneath you; notice any smells, any sounds. Try to bring yourself into this present moment, and think about only this present moment.

 

There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to meditate.

Just like with yoga, there are many different types, or schools, of meditation. With yoga, there’s Vinyasa, Yin, Kundalini… and with meditation, different styles include Transcendental, Qigong, and Mindfulness. There’s no correct method—they’re just different paths to take to get you to the same destination. The techniques I described above are part of the Zen/Mindfulness meditation practices, which is what I mainly teach. Some people find it more helpful to pick a specific mantra, or to count numbers, rather than focusing on your breath, which is why I encourage you to try out many different styles. And remember, you can’t be bad at meditation. It’s an exercise, a practice. We’re essentially training our minds the same way we would our muscles, or our dogs. I’ll be honest; when I first tried meditation about ten years ago, I hated it. I thought it wasn’t for me, that I was terrible at it—but let me remind you that that’s just not possible. You will probably find it challenging at first to find any spaces of silence in between thoughts, but don’t let that discourage you. It takes patience and repetition to build any habitual pattern. So be patient with yourself and the process. As long as you’re trying, you’re doing it right.

 

You can meditate for as long or as little as you want.

Any little bit you can fit into your schedule is great, but the longer you can do it, the better! But you can meditate for one minute, or one hour. It all counts. Commit to what you know you can realistically do every day.

 

You can meditate in any position.

Meditate in any position that feels comfortable for you. Also—you can close your eyes, or leave them open! You don’t have to sit in the stereotypical perfectly straight, cross-legged position. The reason this is so important is that you will find it very difficult to relax and meditate if you’re in any pain or discomfort. You’ll keep getting distracted, or want to shift around. That’s why I’m personally a big fan of meditating lying down. Some are against this mainly because you’re more likely to fall asleep. But I don’t think this is a bad thing, unless you tend to oversleep, need help staying alert, or want to feel energized by your meditation rather than further relaxed. Then you may find it more useful to be sitting, or reclining in a chair. Experiment a bit and find what works for you.

 

You can meditate while DOING, as well—you don’t have to be still.

I believe strongly in active meditation. When I am feeling down, I have found that the only thing that kept me sane was movement—in my case, running. It’s what fueled my passion for fitness. Many people actually get into a meditative, focused state when doing their flow—and that’s the goal! It’s a time where you can tune out the world around you and really focus your mind on its more primal state, where you are simply breathing and rooted in your body. It’s meditation. Meditation applies to all aspects of our lives. It’s being mindful—becoming aware of our thoughts so that we can choose them, to become more in alignment with the higher version of ourselves. You mind find it meditative to wash the dishes, or paint, or garden. I love to go on long, meditative walks out in nature. If you find yourself getting more anxious trying to force yourself to be still, find a soothing movement that works for you instead.

 

Beginners often find it most useful to listen to guided meditations.

I know I sure did when I first started my meditation practice. It may take a few tries to find a teacher whose voice and technique works for you. One element that’s important is to have minimal distractions. You can’t really meditate when someone’s trying to talk to you (although meditation will teach you to become more mindful in conversations), when you’re working, or when your phone is dinging with notifications. Set yourself up for success by carving out time in your schedule specifically to meditate, putting your phone in Do Not Disturb mode (if you have an iPhone), and going somewhere you won’t be with someone who wants to chat. Try practicing both guided meditations and meditating on your own, and see what works best for you! You may find that you prefer one or the other, and again—there’s no right or wrong.

 

Stay consistent with your practice.

Meditation works best when you do it every day, so make a resolution to stick with it. Remember that it gets even easier and more enjoyable over time! The benefits of meditation are worth the commitment. I have become genuinely happier and more peaceful, and I feel stronger and more powerful every time I meditate. It really is magical! Whenever you’re feeling fearful, anxious, or sad—meditate. It’s the best antidote. When we meditate, we discover that we are not our thoughts—that we have control over what we think, and thus who we are. We have the power to change our lives by changing our thoughts. And meditation reminds us to slow down enough to realize that in this moment, everything is okay.

 

How do I build the habit?

Habit stack

For anyone who wants to learn how to build a new practice into their daily routine, please invest in the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. A great lesson taught from this book is the tool ‘habit stacking’. If you use habit stacking every day, your new habit will become automatic. Your brain won’t even think about it, you will be moving from A to B straight away without even thinking twice. Try not to have caffeine before your meditation. Instead reward yourself with your coffee after your morning meditation. So for example a habit stack would be like; get out of bed, do a little stretch, get a glass of water and find a comfortable place to meditate. Try and implement this into your morning routine and do it everyday. Even if it is for 5 minutes, that 5 minutes you would have been scrolling on your phone. It will set you up for the day as you will be so proud of yourself that you sat down and put this time aside for your mind. It is not easy to sit down and meditate, if it was we would all be doing it!

 

Find your why – why are you here today?

Is it confidence, relationships, focus, better sleep? Write down your reason why you want to start a meditation practice. This will hold you accountable on the days you don’t want to show up and practise the habit. For me personally, I practise to tackle my overthinking, calm my monkey mind, check in with myself on how I’m actually feeling, calming my nervous system and taking it from sympathetic (fight or flight) to parasympathetic (rest and digest) and to help with my sleep. I know that if I am in a good habit of meditating, I will be less likely to suffer from these issues. These whys will make your habit easier to do especially in times when you really don’t want to do it or feel you don’t have enough time. 

 

Breathing

Belly breaths

To try this, lie down flat and put a book on your stomach and breathe in through your nose, fill up your stomach as the book is moving up and release out through your mouth. You want your belly to be going up and down with the book and then you know the oxygen is going right down to the abdominals so it is deep abdominal breathing. Focus on filling up your stomach and get that oxygen flowing all through your body. 

 

Heart activation

When you want to breathe through your heart, this is really concentrating on the beats of your heart. Close your eyes, and breathe with the beat of your heart and really concentrate on your heart to activate it. This is to activate your heart chakra so we can get answers from your subconscious mind. 

 

Breath retention

This is taking a breath, holding, and letting go. Take a deep breath in through your abdominal, hold for 2 seconds and out for 4 seconds. Repeat this exercise. This de-excites the nervous system and calms and relaxes us so we can get into a deep meditation and get into the subconscious to get some answers.

 

Mindfulness vs Meditation

Mindfulness is all about being mindful of what’s in front of you when you open your eyes. If you are eating an apple, instead of being in your mind with all these thoughts in your head about ‘what should i do tomorrow, i need to do this and that’, being mindful is about taking a bite of an apple, savouring the taste, feeling the taste, observing the colours which. This will take you away from your own thoughts and be mindful. You can do mindful walks for example where you can go out and just observe nature. 

 

Meditation is all about calming our nervous system and looking inwards to find inner peace. Mindfulness is all looking outside work, meditation is all looking inside work. Meditation is all about teaching us that we are not our thoughts. That our thoughts are just floating by and we are the observer. We are in control of our thoughts. You need to pick your thoughts like you pick your clothes in the morning. So instead, we can pick what serves us instead of believing all these negative thoughts that come running into our heads. We can stop them. We are watching and observing the thoughts. 

 

People think it is all about trying to think of nothing. That is false. Your mind will think like your heart beats. You will always be thinking thoughts, you may go into a blissful state here and there but you will still be thinking thoughts. Meditation is not about stopping your thoughts and clearing your mind. It is about giving our body the rest it needs in meditation. When we are sleeping, we are not really getting a deepful rest like meditation. Meditation can give us a very deepful rest for our bodies. When we are sleeping we are heavy breathing, always ready for predators. When we are meditating, we are giving our bodies that rest that it truly needs to heal. 

 

Postures

Whatever way you feel comfortable meditating, is the way you should meditate. You can lie down flat on your bed, sit up in your chosen meditation chair, lie out on the grass, the beach, etc. It all depends on what you find comfortablest. My posture changes all the time depending on the time of the day, how much time I have etc. for example I like to do my day meditations sitting cross legged outside in nature on the grass. For my nighttime meditation I like to do it lying down right before I go to sleep. If you do your meditation during the day and you find you fall asleep, the best posture would be to sit up. Don’t worry if you do fall asleep, as this means that is what your body wants and needs. 

 

Types of Meditations

Guided Meditations

You can find guided meditations almost anywhere now for example on Spotify, apple podcasts, youtube etc. 

 

Vipassana Meditation

One of the best meditations for happiness and positivity is Vipassana.

Vipassana is the practice of monitoring and labelling your thoughts and emotions.  And it is scientifically proven to make you feel more positive. To do this, you focus on your breath. Then when you experience a thought, feeling, or external stimuli, you label it. For instance, you’ll say, This is just a thought/feeling/external sound”. This reduces reactivity, which in turn reduces stress and anxiety. 

 

Loving Kindness Meditation

It’s a technique in which we visualize sending and receiving compassion. Loving Kindness increases pleasant emotions like joy and cultivates confidence. It makes us happy because it makes us feel closer to other people. Loving Kindness Meditation changes the structure of the brain. Plus, it increases warm feelings like kindness, love, compassion, and happiness.  

 

Pratyahara

Pratyahara is a type of yoga described in the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. It is the fifth of the Eight Limbs of Yoga. We use Pratyahara to eliminate negative influences in our lives and to increase positive influences. This tips the scales in favour of happiness and removes many of the causes of unhappiness. To do this, remove anything from your life that makes you feel negative. Meanwhile, increase things that make you feel positive. This could include objects and possessions as well as other people. 

 

 Mindful CBT for positive thinking

Do you experience a lot of negative thoughts? If so, you should try Mindfulness-Based-Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy. Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a psychological therapy created by Jon Kabat Zinn. It is based on the theories of Dr Aaron T. Beck. It helps us handle negative thoughts. What makes this one of the best meditations for happiness and positivity is that it targets the negative thoughts that are preventing us from feeling joyful. We can then change those thoughts to more positive ones.  

 

Mantra meditation

Mantras are specific words or phrases with spiritual properties. They are similar to affirmations or spells but are backed by science. Notable teachers of this method include Deepak Chopra and Maharishi Mahesh Yogi (creator of Transcendental Meditation). When we meditate on a mantra, we relax the mind. We also get special benefits based on the mantra we use. One good mantra meditation to feel happy is “Om.” 

 

Try this out:

Sit cross-legged (or on a chair). Begin to chant “Om” slowly. You should feel the sound resonating around your nose and your mouth, and your throat should be completely relaxed. Do not worry if you occasionally cough as this is just a sign of your throat adjusting.

Focus on the sound. Continue chanting Om, the mantra for happiness, for as long as you like. This exercise creates reverberations in our organs that help the body to relax. Plus, it stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which makes us feel calm. You can use affirmations too. One happiness-affirmation that I use is “Life is good”. Reciting this mantra trains my mind to see the good in the world.

 

Gratitude

It has been scientifically proven that gratitude makes us happier. Plus, it helps with problems like depression, stress and anxiety. Indeed, gratitude is one of the “Character Strengths” of Positive Psychology, the branch of psychology created by Martin Seligman that investigates the psychology of happiness and success. By practising gratitude, you will develop positive thoughts and joyful feelings. Research shows that gratitude makes us happier.

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